Shut up Get out

Monday, July 14, 2008

WE ALL KNOW GOD DOESN'T LIKE EITHER DUMBASSERY OR ASSHOLERY, but now I strongly suspect he doesn't like whiners or poor sports either. Even when it's His own. Case in point--I play softball on Sunday. The league I am in is mostly church teams. We were neck and neck with one of said church teams all season. I thought they had pretty much locked up 1st place because we had lost 3 games and they had only lost 2 (both to us).

I get to the field last night for the last game of the season and was told that they were losing and if they lost and we won, we would win the league because we had beat them twice and they had only beat us once. Plus--we had more points scored than they did (our second tie breaker). Then, the league director told us that the team we were supposed to be playing didn't have enough players and that they would forfeit unless we let them pick up players not on their roster. This is normally frowned upon for a game that decides the championship, but we said oh hell yes we'll let them play. So the church team lost and immediately filed a protest over some stupid shit (players didn't have a team jersey--which is not required in this league). This team bitched all season long. They bitched about the umpires not calling strikes, they bitched about plays, they bitched about us having an all guy outfield and the umpire said "What about the all-girl INFIELD that they have? You gonna complain about that too?" They really just never shut up.

So we take the field, we're the visiting team and we score 2 runs. Then the other team bats and scores 3 runs and it wasn't even that close. our defense SUCKED the first inning. As we finally got the last out, one of our players said-we just need to settle. We're way over stimulated. The second inning wasn't any better. But finally in the 4th, our bats got started (not mine--Mine was hot from the get go--3 for 4 and the one I didn't get was to left instead of right. If I would have stuck with what I know works, I'd have batted 1000.) Our defense got going too--I made the spectacular boob catch. A throw came in from the outfield and it was low and I scooped it and jammed it into my chest to get control and got the out.

I made the comment that I didn't know WHY we had to wait until the 5th inning to get a good lead and couldn't we just do it sooner? The reply was NO--then it wouldn't be us. It was the last inning and the other team had the bases loaded and time was expired. One of their big guys was up and put a hit to the shortstop. She fielded it on a one hop and I was at second waiting. She threw to me and it was the last out.

The director told me that it was an exciting finish to the season and that we had earned first place. We could have taken the chicken shit way out by accepting the forfeit, but we played, knowing the risk--if we lost, we would have lost the championship. And she's right--we earned it. It was an exciting game and the final score was 9-5--us. And just to pee on our parade, the church team filed a protest that we did not all have team shirts and we let the other team pick up players. It is now proven that GOD doesn't like Whiners, so maybe instead of praying on the field after the game, the church team should be like us and have a moment in the dugout before the game.

Please God, don't let us suck. Amen.

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