AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT, I allowed a friend of mine to sign me up on 'Loser.com' (not really--just don't want to say what the name of it is), an internet dating site. She begged and pleaded and cajoled me into it because she doesn't want to be the only one suffering through it. I was doing fine on my own and besides, baseball season is about to start and I don't really want to be dating anyone during baseball season. It's too hard to explain why you want to spend 90 hours a week watching games on MLB extra innings.
ANYWAY, I let her do up a profile for me and the next thing I know, I have potential dates in my email box. I look to see what my choices would be and CAN YOU EFFING BELIEVE THIS--my ex-PITA was one of them. After I finished guffawing and choking on my coffee, I promptly deleted the email. Next thing I know, there is an email from "someone who is interested in you". I must say, curiousity got the better of me and I opened it. I hope y'all are sitting down. IT WAS MY EX-PITA. I'll wait until you quit laughing.
Of course, he knew it was me by my profile. My friends do know me well and I do live in a small town. He proceeded to call me a chicken for not putting my picture on the site (it hadn't loaded yet) and that I must be bored to be doing this and if I wanted to go dancing why didn't I just say so and if I ever came to my senses I should just call my former boyfriend and we could start going out again. DID HE MISS THE PART WHEN I TOLD HIM I HATED HIM AND NEVER WANTED TO SEE HIM AGAIN? yes, he must have.
So I call my friend and here is our conversation:
"Hey girl. It's ballz"
"Hey sistah, what's up"
"I just wanted to tell you how much I hated you"
"WHY"
I proceeded to tell her what had happened and after she stopped laughing, she said, "I am SOO SORRY! You want me to phuk with him?" Oh hell yes. Right after I made her promise to delete my profile. Which by the way she has done. Besides, there is someone who is first in line, should I ever choose to be in a relationship again and it's someone who deserves to be loved and respected and not be put through hell in a relationship.
In the meantime, however, I will continue to report on horrible instances such as this because I know y'all think it's absolutely hysterical that I be put through this. By the way, before my pal deleted my profile, I blocked the ex-PITA so that he can't ever email me again. Trust me--that was only Fate having a little laugh at my expense and giving me the opportunity to be the bigger person. I'm glad Fate had a laugh. I actually did too, once I took a bleach shower and got all the ex-pita funk off me.
ANYWAY, I let her do up a profile for me and the next thing I know, I have potential dates in my email box. I look to see what my choices would be and CAN YOU EFFING BELIEVE THIS--my ex-PITA was one of them. After I finished guffawing and choking on my coffee, I promptly deleted the email. Next thing I know, there is an email from "someone who is interested in you". I must say, curiousity got the better of me and I opened it. I hope y'all are sitting down. IT WAS MY EX-PITA. I'll wait until you quit laughing.
Of course, he knew it was me by my profile. My friends do know me well and I do live in a small town. He proceeded to call me a chicken for not putting my picture on the site (it hadn't loaded yet) and that I must be bored to be doing this and if I wanted to go dancing why didn't I just say so and if I ever came to my senses I should just call my former boyfriend and we could start going out again. DID HE MISS THE PART WHEN I TOLD HIM I HATED HIM AND NEVER WANTED TO SEE HIM AGAIN? yes, he must have.
So I call my friend and here is our conversation:
"Hey girl. It's ballz"
"Hey sistah, what's up"
"I just wanted to tell you how much I hated you"
"WHY"
I proceeded to tell her what had happened and after she stopped laughing, she said, "I am SOO SORRY! You want me to phuk with him?" Oh hell yes. Right after I made her promise to delete my profile. Which by the way she has done. Besides, there is someone who is first in line, should I ever choose to be in a relationship again and it's someone who deserves to be loved and respected and not be put through hell in a relationship.
In the meantime, however, I will continue to report on horrible instances such as this because I know y'all think it's absolutely hysterical that I be put through this. By the way, before my pal deleted my profile, I blocked the ex-PITA so that he can't ever email me again. Trust me--that was only Fate having a little laugh at my expense and giving me the opportunity to be the bigger person. I'm glad Fate had a laugh. I actually did too, once I took a bleach shower and got all the ex-pita funk off me.
posted by Ballz @ 5:55 PM
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