EDNA'S HOUSE OF PSYCHICS, educational institution, est. 1988

Now there probably isn't such a place, but in a discussion I had with some friends (the Coven) this week, we are all pretty sure that some psychics purchase a script from the above-referenced establishment.

I was in Chicago this week and was out walking on Michigan Avenue. There was a huge sign that said "Psychic Readings--$10". Okay--I gotta admit, I was up for some entertainment. It was muggy and I was sweating and I needed a laugh. Went in and rang the bell. This woman, with boobs that hung to her belly button and no bra, answered. She had bleach blonde hair and the WORST fake accent I have ever effing heard in my life. I almost couldn't go through with it on that alone.

So she has me shuffle the Tarot cards and pick a pile and think of 2 questions "One of which I will reveal to her and one I will keep secret". Okay, whatever.

So she asks me the question I want to reveal and I tell her. She starts with the reading. That I will get what I want, but there is a blockage--bad luck, if you will. But it is all spiritual and for $250, she will determine what the blockage is and clear it away from me. At this point, I am almost on the floor laughing--OUTLOUD. Any one who knows me knows EXACTLY what the hell is 'BLOCKING' me and believe me--it ain't spiritual. But it gets better. This $250 is for "materials" and she will do this after her business hours. 2 questions--what the hell materials costs $250? I thought that you could buy those religious candles at the Dollar store and incense, well, it can't possibly be more than a couple bucks. And----why does she have to do it after work hours? It wasn't like there was anyone else beating down fake accent Sara's door.

I brought this up to my friends and one suggested that she had to go to a cemetery to "unblock" my spiritual thing. I said, well, if that's what it is, can I pick the cemetery? Because I'd really like her to go to the one Harry Carey is buried in and clear whateverthehell is blocking the Cubs this year. They thought it would probably cost extra.

Another friend suggested a Fleet enema kit which could be purchased at Walgreens' for 10 bucks and my blockage could be cleared. She said to go ahead and put the $250 in the mail to her.

Anyway--I got a pretty good laugh and so did my friends--at my expense of course. Y'all are just plainassed lucky that I am willing to tell these stories on myself.

PS--an update on my Dad. He is pisst because his doc told him he could be playing golf 3 weeks after he broke his hip. Last night, he told me it had been 3 weeks and he wasn't playing golf yet.

PSS-softball season is in full swing. We were behind 12-0 last night and came back in the last inning to only one behind. 20-19. Didn't win, but had fun trying. I was batting in my favorite spot--lead off and went 3-4.