AN OPENING DAY PRAYER

Dear God,

We give thanks that another baseball season is upon us and we pray that opening day across the board has sunny weather and no rain outs and no hour long lines for beer (psffft--sure, that one's gonna happen). We pray that since the Boston Red Sox and the Chicago White Sox have each won a world series recently, that it is the Chicago Cubs turn now.

I ask you to smile down on Pudge Rodriguez and give him the best season ever and that his batting average will be .350 this year and that he is not pestered by those 15 years in the majors, ie hip flexor injury, broken hand bones etc. I'd like to see him win one more World Series ring before he retires.

I pray that Barry Bonds is busted for steroids use so that he doesn't touch Hank Aaron's home run total. Barry is such a prima donna, he doesn't deserve the recognition.

I pray that Carlos Pena finds a team to play on since the Tigers released him last week. and I also pray that Jim Leyland has a successful year with the 'cats so that they are contenders for a championship. I pray that Mario and Rod, FSNDetroit, have lost their filters again so that they will keep me howling with some of the stuff that they come up with.

I pray that all players play without getting hurt this year. I pray for a lot of suicide squeeze plays that work (but only for my teams) and for the Yankees to be humiliated this year with all their high dollar players.

I pray that the Colorado Rockies do not suck too badly this year, although because they do suck, it makes it easy to get tickets.

Lastly, as a personal favor to me, God, I pray that you make it so that the Yankees never win another world series. I only root for 2 teams, the Tigers and any team that beats the Yankees.

Amen.