A FEW MORE WORDS REGARDING OPENING DAY

I love it, but I don't love it in person. A bunch of dumbasses usually attend Opening Day (and by 'dumbass', I mean the people who don't actually WATCH baseball on a regular basis, but think it's 'cool' to go to Opening Day and say they went.

Me? I'm tivo'ing the Detroit Tigers v. Kansas City and I hope Dmitri Young hits 3 home runs like he did last year and I hope Pudge drills someone at second and hits 4 RBIs. Yep, I love Opening Day.

Now some words of advice: when you go to the ball game, please do not get up and down 400 times. There are people who actually WATCH the game and you will annoy them with your excessive movement.

There are certain areas of the ball park that get a lot of foul balls (off 1st and 3rd base especially). You better be watching or you might take a ball off your head, face etc. It will be extremely funny to those of us who know to watch.

Beer makes you pee. See request #1.

Never eat anything with the word "extreme" in the title. It only leads to "extreme" gastro-intestinal issues. I speak from experience. I'm just saying.

If a ball hits a foul pole in the outfield, it is a home run.

The infield fly rule is complicated. It was created to do away with easy outs. Here it is: If there are runners on base (and some will say that the bases have to be loaded) and there are less than 2 outs and the infielder can catch the fly ball with ordinary effort, the batter will be out. The runners may advance at their own risk (and I have actually scored a run like this because the short stop didn't know the rule)

This should provide you with some basic knowledge of the game. I will have commentary as the season progresses.