I AM THE BIGGEST DUMBASS EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD

I gotta admit, for most of my life, I have been spoiled. And by that I mean, I've never had to mow my own yard. Well, when I split from the ex-pita, that became one of my jobs, along with everything else.

I let my mom talk me into buying a manual mower "because I was in such good shape and all", but I didn't realize that you had to work really really hard to use the effing thing. So, as by my previous post, I bought a power mower.

Dragged it into the back yard last night and tried to start it. Wouldn't start. Went back to the garage to read the directions. Walked back to the back yard. Tried to start it again. Wouldn't start. Went back to the garage. Read some more directions. Back to the back yard. Couldn't start it again. Went back to the garage and took the gd directions with me. Finally got it started and almost cut the grass down to the dirt. Adjusted the height. Started mower again. Made approximately 4 passes. Lawn mower jams. Can't get it started again. Take bag off and empty it and notice that there is all kinds of grass up in the blades. Decide the grass is too wet and will try again the next day.

So today, the grass is a little drier and I drag the thing to the back yard again. This time, it only dies about 5 times and I get most of the grass cut. It's not pretty, but it's done and I weed whacked the edges.

The next time I get married, it's going in the vows. "I promise to love, honor and mow the lawn on a regular basis". In return, I will promise to pack his lunch (I got a great compliment on the lunches I bring to work every day), make snickerdoodles occasionally and iron a shirt for him once in awhile just to be nice. I think it's fair. Don't you?