WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS DAWG? I have 2 terriers (or terriorists, as terrier owners like to say), Ed and Elvis. Elvis is a wire hair fox terrier, 8 years old and Ed is a dog of questionable parentage (mostly Jack Russell/rat terrier), age about 4.

All of a sudden, Elvis has turned into a puppy again. Getting into trouble--a lot. His latest thing is pulling all the tissue out of the trash and shredding it into minute pieces that the vacuum won't pick up. Every effin' night this happens. Every effin' trash can, but especially the one in the bedroom.

Now I am used to crazy behavior by terriers. My former dog, Jack, a welsh terrier that was the victim of my split up with the pita, ate a pair of my underwear. I had to make a visit to the emergency vet on a Friday night at 10 pm. The vet made Jack puke it up and then brought me said underwear in a plastic bag. I took one look at it and said "No thanks". The vet said--but IT'S EXPENSIVE UNDERWEAR. Frankly I don't care how much it cost, I'm not wearing it again. ick.

This morning, I dropped an english muffin and Elvis was on it faster than ugly on an ape. I managed to get half of it picked up, but he hauled ass with the other half and tried to bite me on the way. bastard. Ed just looks at me like "I'm the good one, aren't I, Mom?" Even on our daily walk around the park, Elvis has been uncooperative. Ed has bit him twice trying to get him to straighten up. Just like kids. But I do have to say that they are entertaining. I am getting sick of picking up shredded tissue though. Somebody is gonna be put in time out if he doesn't knock it off.