MY DATING LIFE is mainly for the entertainment of my friends. I suffer through bad dates, just to have stories to tell them. I haven't figured out if they are truly amused by said dates or if they are just really happy that it isn't happening to them.
I have been single for a very long time. I just ended a fairly long term relationship mainly because I started cringing every time the man walked into my breathing space. That's when you pretty much should call it quits. Actually, I called it quits 2 years ago in my mind, there was just the technicality of actually moving because I was so done in my head, it wasn't even funny.
I told a former friend of mine (he is a former friend because he hasn't spoken to me in about a month. He broke a huge promise to me and I am really pissed about it. There will be a lot of ass-kissing in his future in order to be reinstated to even acquaintance status)--that I wasn't the marrying kind. I figured I was pretty safe in saying that since I'd been divorced for 13 years. Then I found a guy I could actually see myself being married to. Forever. It doesn't look like it's gonna happen though, so I'm back to dating.
I may start drinking.
The worst date I ever had was a guy who really thought a lot about himself. And he was delusional. I am a tall girl--5'9" on a short day. With heels--over 6 foot. This guy told me he was almost 6 foot tall. I don't mind a shorter man. One of my favorite men is shorter than I am and I really like him a lot. HOWEVER, this dork was not even close to "almost 6 foot tall". I showed up for our date in a moderate heel. He had on cowboy boots (with lifts, I'm sure) that had a pretty substantial heel on them. I looked down at his balding head almost all night. It wasn't the balding head that bugged me--again--favorite man=bald--it was the fact that he actually thought he was ALMOST 6 foot tall. I may be bad at math, but I know 6 foot. The rest of the night he proceeded to tell me how he worked out almost every day for 2-3 hours/day. Dude--you better change your routine, because it isn't working. I could hardly wait until that date was over.
About 3 days after that, he called me. This was before I had caller id. I answered the phone and told him I was headed out for the evening. He said, "How are we ever going to move our relationship to the next level if you aren't available to me?"
Beats the hell out of me. I could barely get the phone hung up before I started laughing hysterically.
So my friends--get the lawn chairs out and the 'ritas and snacks. It may be a long ride.
I have been single for a very long time. I just ended a fairly long term relationship mainly because I started cringing every time the man walked into my breathing space. That's when you pretty much should call it quits. Actually, I called it quits 2 years ago in my mind, there was just the technicality of actually moving because I was so done in my head, it wasn't even funny.
I told a former friend of mine (he is a former friend because he hasn't spoken to me in about a month. He broke a huge promise to me and I am really pissed about it. There will be a lot of ass-kissing in his future in order to be reinstated to even acquaintance status)--that I wasn't the marrying kind. I figured I was pretty safe in saying that since I'd been divorced for 13 years. Then I found a guy I could actually see myself being married to. Forever. It doesn't look like it's gonna happen though, so I'm back to dating.
I may start drinking.
The worst date I ever had was a guy who really thought a lot about himself. And he was delusional. I am a tall girl--5'9" on a short day. With heels--over 6 foot. This guy told me he was almost 6 foot tall. I don't mind a shorter man. One of my favorite men is shorter than I am and I really like him a lot. HOWEVER, this dork was not even close to "almost 6 foot tall". I showed up for our date in a moderate heel. He had on cowboy boots (with lifts, I'm sure) that had a pretty substantial heel on them. I looked down at his balding head almost all night. It wasn't the balding head that bugged me--again--favorite man=bald--it was the fact that he actually thought he was ALMOST 6 foot tall. I may be bad at math, but I know 6 foot. The rest of the night he proceeded to tell me how he worked out almost every day for 2-3 hours/day. Dude--you better change your routine, because it isn't working. I could hardly wait until that date was over.
About 3 days after that, he called me. This was before I had caller id. I answered the phone and told him I was headed out for the evening. He said, "How are we ever going to move our relationship to the next level if you aren't available to me?"
Beats the hell out of me. I could barely get the phone hung up before I started laughing hysterically.
So my friends--get the lawn chairs out and the 'ritas and snacks. It may be a long ride.
posted by Ballz @ 7:02 AM
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