I SUFFER FROM SITUATIONAL TOURETTE'S.
I just KNEW there was a name for it! Usually, I just mutter "oh did I say that outloud?" But in some situations, situational tourette's is a much better excuse. A little background story: In August, I was at a national conference. There is a man that I call the Groper. I despise this man. He starts off the conference okay, but about a day into it, he is entirely too handsy/familiar with my body parts. If I LIKED him, this might not be as much a problem as it is, but I hate his ass, so therefore BIG effin' problem.
I didn't start out with bodyguards there, but one night I was explaining to one of the guys I hang out with what the Groper was doing to me. He did NOT believe me. I even DEMONSTRATED what was going on. Guy #1 said well, I kind of like it. Yeah--BECAUSE YOU LIKE ME! The other guy I was hanging with was in the bathroom and the Groper came up to me and well, groped me. Guy #1 couldn't believe it and when Guy #2 got back--Guy #1 explained it in agonizing detail. At that point, I acquired 2 body guards. And really really good ones, at that. And they recruited MORE body guards for me just in case they weren't around. By the end of the week, it was fairly obvious what was going on and evidently, the Groper complained to another friend that he was pissed because these two guys were always around.
Ok--now the situational tourette's tie in, at a recent professional meeting, the chairman of the board was talking about an award that the Groper won, not mentioning the Groper by name, but Bodyguard #1 was in the meeting and mouthed "YOUR LOVER" to me. I immediately gave him the finger, albeit behind a piece of paper so that he was the only one who could see it. Come on--he knew what was going to happen. I'm already panicked about this year's conference. I hope I can count on my bodyguards again. Well, at least the one. The other will be in Iraq. I may have to hide in my room the whole time.
My ex is a real dickhead and one of my emails this morning told him that. He actually had the effing nerve to email me that if I couldn't be nice in my reply, I shouldn't email him anymore. Well, g.d. if he would give me the information I need, I would not have to email him at all. I don't think he is very smart.
Speaking of not smart, I was having lunch in Florida with a group of my colleagues and this MORON came up to the table next to us and proceeded to pull up his shirt and show his sunburned whalesque stomach to the ladies sitting there, and blamed his fair skin on being "Irish". First of all-DUDE, I'M EATING HERE. Second--one of the guys I was eating with said, "Don't blame it on being Irish, blame it on being a DUMBASS"
Methinks someone else suffers from Situational Tourette's as well.
I just KNEW there was a name for it! Usually, I just mutter "oh did I say that outloud?" But in some situations, situational tourette's is a much better excuse. A little background story: In August, I was at a national conference. There is a man that I call the Groper. I despise this man. He starts off the conference okay, but about a day into it, he is entirely too handsy/familiar with my body parts. If I LIKED him, this might not be as much a problem as it is, but I hate his ass, so therefore BIG effin' problem.
I didn't start out with bodyguards there, but one night I was explaining to one of the guys I hang out with what the Groper was doing to me. He did NOT believe me. I even DEMONSTRATED what was going on. Guy #1 said well, I kind of like it. Yeah--BECAUSE YOU LIKE ME! The other guy I was hanging with was in the bathroom and the Groper came up to me and well, groped me. Guy #1 couldn't believe it and when Guy #2 got back--Guy #1 explained it in agonizing detail. At that point, I acquired 2 body guards. And really really good ones, at that. And they recruited MORE body guards for me just in case they weren't around. By the end of the week, it was fairly obvious what was going on and evidently, the Groper complained to another friend that he was pissed because these two guys were always around.
Ok--now the situational tourette's tie in, at a recent professional meeting, the chairman of the board was talking about an award that the Groper won, not mentioning the Groper by name, but Bodyguard #1 was in the meeting and mouthed "YOUR LOVER" to me. I immediately gave him the finger, albeit behind a piece of paper so that he was the only one who could see it. Come on--he knew what was going to happen. I'm already panicked about this year's conference. I hope I can count on my bodyguards again. Well, at least the one. The other will be in Iraq. I may have to hide in my room the whole time.
My ex is a real dickhead and one of my emails this morning told him that. He actually had the effing nerve to email me that if I couldn't be nice in my reply, I shouldn't email him anymore. Well, g.d. if he would give me the information I need, I would not have to email him at all. I don't think he is very smart.
Speaking of not smart, I was having lunch in Florida with a group of my colleagues and this MORON came up to the table next to us and proceeded to pull up his shirt and show his sunburned whalesque stomach to the ladies sitting there, and blamed his fair skin on being "Irish". First of all-DUDE, I'M EATING HERE. Second--one of the guys I was eating with said, "Don't blame it on being Irish, blame it on being a DUMBASS"
Methinks someone else suffers from Situational Tourette's as well.
posted by Ballz @ 7:06 AM
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