THAT BITCH LIKE TO HAVE KILLED ME
I'm talking about the racewalking one who was hot on my heels the entire effing 5K today. Usually, I go all out the first mile (10:46 minutes thank yewww) and kind of slack the second mile and then pick it up the third. Well, there was no slacking for me today thanks to the racewalking bitch behind me. She got out ahead of me to start and I just keep my same pace. I passed her before the quarter mile was up and stayed ahead. But I actually had to work at it today and I don't like that one bit. It didn't help that I had absolutely no training this week and it really didn't help that I haven't weight trained in 2 weeks (my gym closed down with no warning, but that is a whole other rant). I finished in 34.35--pretty close to last week, a little faster. The cool thing about this race is that my entry fee was paid (thanks to placing in another race) and I won a $20 gift certificate for being first.
One of my dear dear friends asked me WHY I did this. She was giving me crap about not living with the Pita any more and yet, I was still escaping my house on the weekends. But that isn't really why I do it. My simple answer is that it gets me in really great shape for softball. I play with a bunch of 20 somethings and since I am a 40 something, I need a little bit more conditioning than they do. I am the fastest girl on the team and racewalking does keep me in shape and by the time I finish with the season--next week--I've got some stamina built up. But the other reason is this: I do this for people who can't. I do this so I can think of people who are just in a world of shit right now and can't see their way out. I concentrate on them while I am racewalking and try to send some positive energy their way and hope they know that I see what they are trying to be or trying to overcome and that they know I will always be there for them. I try to send some love their way mentally so that they will know that in spite of the circumstances, they are loved. I walk for those people who think that they will never get out of hell, when I know they will.
I told my friend that I NOW know how they felt when I was trying to get to the point when I could actually physically leave the Pita. It is aggravating to know that it will be for the better, yet not be able to convince someone you care about that it is for the better. My friends were ready to KILL me by the time I finally made the decision to leave. It's like you get up one day and say, I can't do this anymore and more important--I DON'T WANT TO!! I was ready 5 years ago and I didn't do it. I was really ready 2 years ago and didn't do it. It finally got to the point that I wanted to kill myself (literally) and I got a phone call from someone who had been through hell in Hurrican Katrina and she grabbed my hand and pulled me back from the depths. That's what I want to do when I racewalk. Send enough of those thoughts to the people who need them that I can grab their hand and make them see that they need to come back from the depths.
I've got one more race next week and I will be racing for not only me, but the ones who can't.
I'm talking about the racewalking one who was hot on my heels the entire effing 5K today. Usually, I go all out the first mile (10:46 minutes thank yewww) and kind of slack the second mile and then pick it up the third. Well, there was no slacking for me today thanks to the racewalking bitch behind me. She got out ahead of me to start and I just keep my same pace. I passed her before the quarter mile was up and stayed ahead. But I actually had to work at it today and I don't like that one bit. It didn't help that I had absolutely no training this week and it really didn't help that I haven't weight trained in 2 weeks (my gym closed down with no warning, but that is a whole other rant). I finished in 34.35--pretty close to last week, a little faster. The cool thing about this race is that my entry fee was paid (thanks to placing in another race) and I won a $20 gift certificate for being first.
One of my dear dear friends asked me WHY I did this. She was giving me crap about not living with the Pita any more and yet, I was still escaping my house on the weekends. But that isn't really why I do it. My simple answer is that it gets me in really great shape for softball. I play with a bunch of 20 somethings and since I am a 40 something, I need a little bit more conditioning than they do. I am the fastest girl on the team and racewalking does keep me in shape and by the time I finish with the season--next week--I've got some stamina built up. But the other reason is this: I do this for people who can't. I do this so I can think of people who are just in a world of shit right now and can't see their way out. I concentrate on them while I am racewalking and try to send some positive energy their way and hope they know that I see what they are trying to be or trying to overcome and that they know I will always be there for them. I try to send some love their way mentally so that they will know that in spite of the circumstances, they are loved. I walk for those people who think that they will never get out of hell, when I know they will.
I told my friend that I NOW know how they felt when I was trying to get to the point when I could actually physically leave the Pita. It is aggravating to know that it will be for the better, yet not be able to convince someone you care about that it is for the better. My friends were ready to KILL me by the time I finally made the decision to leave. It's like you get up one day and say, I can't do this anymore and more important--I DON'T WANT TO!! I was ready 5 years ago and I didn't do it. I was really ready 2 years ago and didn't do it. It finally got to the point that I wanted to kill myself (literally) and I got a phone call from someone who had been through hell in Hurrican Katrina and she grabbed my hand and pulled me back from the depths. That's what I want to do when I racewalk. Send enough of those thoughts to the people who need them that I can grab their hand and make them see that they need to come back from the depths.
I've got one more race next week and I will be racing for not only me, but the ones who can't.
posted by Ballz @ 2:27 PM
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