Shut up Get out

Monday, August 15, 2005

ROAD TRIPPIN'

This past weekend, my friend Deb and I took a 1300 mile round trip road trip. At the invite of another friend who said that my favorite baseball player was gonna be in Kansas City. You can't not go if it's your favorite baseball player.

Now, I don't really like to be in a car for any length of time. It's uncomfortable and if I'm not driving, I feel compelled to instruct the driver and let them know that, in fact, I am a front seat driver and am not embarassed to admit it outloud. I digress.

We set off at the ungodly hour of 5 am. I must love this baseball player. I'm not usually coherent that early. I learned a lot of things on this road trip. The highway between Denver and KC is flat and straight. The world's biggest prairie dog is located in Oakley, KS. This sparked quite a discussion between my friend and I. We could not understand how a prairie dog got to be 8000 pounds. She had it in her mind that said PD was crashed out in a recliner with a remote. I put a wife-beater and suspenders on him and said his PD butt-crack probably showed when he bent over for a beer. This was at Prairie Dog Town, where they also had live things you could pet. They advertised a 5 legged steer, but on the way back home from KC, the steer had 6 legs. Which is it? I'm guessing neither the prairie dog nor the steer are live and you cannot pet them. They also advertised rattlesnakes. Now color me naive, but I don't think I would want to pet a live rattlesnake.

Located just outside of Abilene is an "Adult Superstore". Right in the middle of nowhere. No other buildings around. Just the Adult Superstore. With a Jesus Saves billboard right in front of it that said Jesus didn't like pornography. Somehow, I think that's probably right.

Other points of interest, and it surprised me how many there were in Kansas, were the Greyhound Hall of Fame and the Agricultural Hall of Fame. My only question about the GHA was if they had stuffed dogs in there and could you pet them like at the Prairie Dog village? The Ag Hall of Fame completely dumbfounded me. I'm sure the people in Kansas get it, but I don't. Are there pictures of famous farmers? Are there stuffed farmers that you can have your picture taken with?

Road food--this can either be really good or really bad. I find that if you stay to the truck stops, you can get a pretty good meal. My favorite was the breakfast burrito in Burlington, the Cinnamon French Toast in Salina and the fresh Peach Pie at Hanks in Goodland. This could explain why my pants are so tight today.

When you are in a car with someone for 11 hours, you tend to talk about a lot of stuff. This story was so funny that I'm sure that my friend will not mind if I share it. Her husband evidently thought they needed some spicing up and he bought a vibrator (the Adult Superstore reminded her). Only it was a bargain vibrator. I never could get her to say what was bargain about it, but I'm pretty sure if you're gonna drop some coin on one, it shouldn't be out of the sale bin.

I did not get to see my man play ball. The 2 games that we were going to got rained out. It was disappointing, but we did get to see some other friends and we did stay at the same hotel as my man. Sometimes you have to be grateful for what you have.

The best thing about a road trip is comin' home and getting there safely.

PS--my team won the double header yesterday, that was even better.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

SLEEPING BY YOURSELF

Now for those of you in relationships, good for you. I don't mind sleeping by myself. In fact, I prefer it. Hell, you can have the whole bed to yourself and no one is poking you to turn over when you're snoring. Which by the way only happens when I am really tired.

Technically, I never really get to sleep by myself as I have 3 dogs who get most of the bed.
This is one of the reasons that I love business travel. I REALLY get a whole bed to myself. Business travel is a whole other post which I will get to eventually. But with business travel, not only do you get the bed to yourself--you also get the bathroom to yourself and you don't have to dress in the dark, as I do every morning.

I don't mean to sound selfish, but there's something to be said about rolling over and not running in to someone.

Did I mention that I have a business trip next week? Bed to myself. I will be in heaven.